Ever tell yourself, "I'll never win the lottery," or "I'll never get out of this boring, underpaying job," or how bout, "I'll never be able to pay all my bills." Do you ever hear yourself saying things like, "Gee, I love that car! I'm going to have one someday!", or how about, "I'm not happy in my current job, but I'm going to get a better paying position that I do like!", or how about, "These bills sure have piled up; but I know that I'm going to have them paid off in no time!"
Here's an exercise I often have my audiences do: Take a sheet of notebook paper and draw a line down the middle, making two columns. In the first column, note down all the times throughout an hour that you make defeatist statements to yourself. In the next column, jot down all the positive, uplifting statements you make. In almost every case, the first column with the defeatist statements are nearly full; while the second column, which is supposed to be for the positive statements, is sadly under-used.
Amazing, isn't it? We are brought up in a society that squashes our high expectations, and thrives upon derogatory self-statements! Even sadder is that when we tell ourselves that something is impossible, we are creating our own reality. There is no better way to fail at something than to tell yourself it's impossible to accomplish before you even begin.
On the other hand, if we tell ourselves that things aren't as bad as they seem, or that we will be able to obtain the promotion we seek, or the money we need to pay bills, it will be provided for us. Coincidence? Of course not! We are what we think.. It's that simple! Unhelpful thoughts produce unhelpful thought patterns; and so the cycle continues.
Look at any successful person that you admire. Have you ever heard them complaining about their circumstances, or whining about their challenges? No, instead they project a positive outlook; and try to use their position to influence others positively. Using our life's lessons to learn and excel; and then share those lessons with others is why we are here. To love ourselves fills us up with an overflow that we can ultimately give to others. By giving to others, we are actually giving to ourselves; as the good tidings are brought back our way ten fold.
Don't believe it? Too hokey? Mumbo-jumbo? Why not try living positively...even just for a day? Take the challenge to think only good thoughts, and expelling and replacing bad ones with positive ones? Tell yourself that you are a good person and that you deserve good things. Try smiling at everyone you meet, instead of avoiding eye contact. Look for ways to help others; even small ways... and it will begin to be a habit. Keep track of all the positive things you are telling yourself, and see if you can put more of them than negative ones on your notebook page.
If we fill ourselves with positive words, we will be filled with positive energy; and therefore able to give more love to others...which will inevitably draw good things into our lives. If we choose to fill ourselves with negative energy, this is what we give off to others, thereby pushing away the very influences that we are craving.
Even when life shoots us a hard blow, we have to put on a positive outlook...'fake it till ya make it'... a mantra used by many athletes fighting the pain and frustrations of getting to the top of their sport. Think they got there by accident? No, of course not! They believed, and envisioned themselves where they wanted to be, BEFORE they even started training! Reality first begins with a visual. Even if you don't believe it right away, you have to keep telling yourself, "I can do this," "it's not as bad as it seems," "this is only a rough spot; if I look for a lesson, I'll be all the better for it." Tell yourself it will be okay; and it will be. Tell yourself it's hopeless and it will be. Your thoughts dictate your future... isn't it better to envision a bright, successful future? What have you got to lose? Blessings are given when we least expect them, challenges show up just when we think we can't take anymore; and miracles happen when we have faith in everything we do. Have faith, dream, believe; and you shall be your vision.
--Kimberly Carnevale
Copyrighted 2006 by Sarah Lynn Communications, L.L.C. No parts of this article may be reproduced by any means without express written permission from the author/publisher
