EmbracingAdversity

Adversity. The word alone conjures up negativity. What if, instead of viewing adversity negatively, we shift our perspective to meet it head on, learn from it, and perhaps even come to embrace it—believing that through adversity, we have the ability to become champions in our lives?

I was a professional athlete, vying for a spot on the United States Equestrian Team when a 1998 accident left me with brain injury. I was forced to relearn what most take for granted such as reading, writing, walking and talking. Sometime later, I was diagnosed with MS. In 1999, I was partnered with my first service dog, and I embarked on new life. Dewey pulled my wheelchair, alerted to my seizures, taught me how to walk again; but most importantly, he taught me how to live again!

Shortly after being partnered, I started experiencing illegal access denial. Vowing to be the voice of teams everywhere, I went back to the places that had denied me access and spoke to their staff. I visited schools, churches, civic organizations, and anywhere I could spread my message. I published many articles about my work, and gradually built a program called, Canine and Abled. My small, local program grew into what has become an award-winning, nonprofit organization that has been booked to high acclaim throughout the Eastern seaboard. Canine and Abled, Inc. is also featured in my first book, “Canine and Abled, Taking The Dis Out of Disabled.” This program rose from the rubble of my shattered dream and provided me with a new and bigger one. This is something I could never imagine myself doing before; and now, can’t imagine doing anything else.

I was blessed with the child I was told would be impossible on November 9, 2002. Her father left three months prior to her birth, and I never heard from him again. I faced new challenges being a single parent with disabilities, but those were overshadowed by the tremendous love and joy that I felt for the much-anticipated daughter I named, Sarah.

In October of 2006, I faced my biggest hurdle yet. Sarah, my dogs and I became homeless due to abuse from an alcoholic family member. I was terrified at first, and my fear prevented me from moving forward. We’d lost our home, our possessions, our friends, and what family we had left. I tried to remain strong for Sarah, waiting until she slept to cry tears of loss and fear. But while I was consumed with loss, my daughter was secure in the knowledge of what we still had—because through it all, we still had each other. Her calm courage and insightfulness astounded me, snapping me out of my depression. I learned such amazing things from her during this time; things that helped me overcome my fear and allowed me to put new motivational strategies to work in creating a new life.

Losing my home gave me the opportunity of a fresh start. I utilized the strategies I’d applied after my accident; adopted some new ones, and I slowly began to inch forward. I began to write again, and my automatic writings became articles that found their way to the business community. I carved a niche for myself as a motivational speaker, satisfying both my need for income and my desire to inspire others.

Adversity has been a familiar and welcomed force in my life. It has made me stronger, has brought out amazing capabilities in my little girl, and it has prepared us for a new and better future.

Don't fear change....embrace it. Just because something worked before, doesn't mean that it will work now. In order to succeed in a changing world, we must be willing to change, too. Change brings opportunity.

I've always been an "out of the box" type thinker. I believe that sometimes life doesn't always follow the map you have laid out, and in those times in order to be successful, you have to "go off-roading" for a while to meet your destination. Unfortunately, many people get "pigeon-holed" into one type of thinking, and often miss opportunities from a closed mindset.

I remember a time before my accident when I was working with one of my horses, Lady Reign; preparing her for an upcoming Sire Stakes special performance at a Standardbred racetrack. Lady Reign was a very special horse to me. She and I had won three National Championships together---the last with her competing at the ripe age of 18! While practicing for my performance at the Meadowlands Racetrack in Rutherford, NJ, trainers and grooms questioned me repeatedly, "How did you get a Standardbred to do all that?" The were referring to the beautiful mare demonstrating upper level dressage (sort of like dancing on horseback) to music. My answer was always the same----she's a horse. I taught her to ride, just like I would any other horse.

But the reasoning didn't make any sense to them. You see, Standardbreds are historically known as driving horses, bred for ages to pull light carts called sulkies down the track at a trot, or a special parallel gate called a pace. Lady Reign was in training as a racehorse when I first met her---one that didn't want to race. Unfortunate for her former owners, but very fortunate for me. I decided to turn Lady Reign into a saddle horse...something that just wasn't done back then. I figured that she had a mane, tail, four legs and strong back just like any other horse... she'd make a lovely riding horse...and she did. So much so, that she was invited all around the East Coast to perform special riding demonstrations as an ambassador for her breed.

Still many trainers scoffed at Lady Reign being under saddle...until they saw her perform. They realized that my training method was vastly different then theirs, and what I'd produced was a sound, well-muscled athlete from a formerly sore and often lame one. They knew I had done something...but were afraid of embracing change of any kind.

When Standardbreds race, their heads are held up high by "check reins." These reins were originally designed from the thought that if the horse tripped, he wouldn't flip over forward. As a rider, it made absolutely no sense to me, (at least the degree of how high the horse was checked), as my careful study of horse anatomy over the years had taught me that the horse needed its neck for balance and in order to carry its self properly.

When I brought up the question, "Why do you use the check rein so tight?" to Standardbred trainers, the standard response always was, "because that's the way it's always been done." In my way of thinking, that type of unnatural head carriage would cause many lameness problems in the horses' back end...its engine; just like it had in Lady Reign. It was obvious this archaic method wasn't working, yet the majority of trainers still tied their horses' heads just as high as they could go---creating hind end weakness and lameness issues for their steeds.

When some younger trainers saw how powerful and well-defined Lady Reign's muscles were, they realized the potential of this method helping their horses. They asked me if I could please help them "re-train" their horses' bodies with dressage as well. I taught many trainers about what I knew of the horses' anatomy, and natural way of going (through the study of the art of dressage) and how the check rein interfered with the horses' ability to perform well. There were a handful of trainers who listened to me, and changed their horses' training regimens and saw great results.

There were many more old-timers, steadfast in their age-old beliefs, determined to do things the way they'd always been done...just because that's the way they'd always been done. They missed out on a great opportunity to learn something new and be able to better their horses' performance. Because they feared change, they continued doing exactly what they had for years; even though it wasn't working.

Has something held you back from reaching your true potential? Does your business need an overhaul to get with the times? Don't fear change---embrace it! When adversity comes knocking at the door of your life, put out the welcome mat! Embrace the challenge of change, and become the champion in your life.

--Kimberly Carnevale